the underwear affair

So, as anyone who has raised a toddler knows, one of the major milestones is toilet training. For months we built up the joy of “big-girl underwear”. Finally we had succeeded in accident free days and made the pilgrimage to Zellers to buy "big-girl" underwear. I told Anneke she could pick anything she wanted. I think she was about 2, maybe 2 and a half. She quietly scrutinized the array of choices for a long time – Barbie, Strawberry shortcake, flowers, girl-power…who knew there were so many choices? As she moved further down the isle her eyes lit up and she reached for her choice – Superman underwear, with the matching t-shirt.

“This is what I want, mommy”

“But, sweetie, that’s for boys.” I nervously replied.

“You said I could pick anything I want!”

Once we established, nothing in the girls section would do for this special day, I bought the Superman underwear. She wore the T-shirt under her clothes for over a week. We had to keep washing that underwear, since it was the only pair she would wear.

Since then we reverted briefly do girls “sporty” underwear, then to boxer shorts (men’s).

One of our close friends shared that she has been wearing boxers for years, and will never go back – they are so comfortable. She and her dad now fight over who’s boxers are who's –it’s very cute.

Like father, like son

I love this picture. B and Anneke, walk alike, dress alike and fight over socks and underwear on a regular basis. People often ask if we plan to have another child, to have a son. B. (who is a man of few words) simply replies "I have a son....Anneke." Unless they know our family well, they look confused. Then B. simply says "Two is plenty."

Allow me to intoduce...

This blog will introduce you to my amazing courageous kid and our family. Born 12 years ago, natally female - Anneke is gender fluid, and currently deciding which gender s/he would like to become. For anyone who has known A. this is not a shock or recent discovery. Before s/he could speak s/he would rip the dresses of her body. The quintessential "Tom-boy". From age three onward s/he had often referred to herself as male, and is currently toying with male names and images of herself as an adult. For any of you also raising gender fluid (often called gender variant) children, you know the issues - bathrooms, bathing suits, schools, puberty, hormones, depression....you know the issues. A. supports this blog, and will read and approve every entry. As you will learn, s/he is one of the most inspiring and courageous kids you will every meet. As you can imagine, we have been parenting without a map for the past 12 years - I hope through this blog to share some of our challenges. We, her dad and I, have by no means done everything right, but we have tried...as every good parent does.
Welcome to our story.