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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Meet Adam

This past weekend we went to Bellingham to go shopping. Much to Molly's delight the mall we went to contained a Build-a-Bear workshop. For those of you not in the know, Build-a-Bear is heaven for any girl (or boy) who would like to pick, stuff, then dress their own personal bear. You get a little heart, which you warm with your own love, then place it in your bear before you stuff it. Then you shop for outfits and accesssories. Needless to say, Molly loves Build-a-Bear. I have lost count how many bears she has.

Once you 'build' your bear you get to shop for outfits and accessories, then register you new bear in the computer, where a birth certificate is created. To off-set the perceived unfairness of Anneke getting a new suit, and me some new clothes, I permitted Molly to go a bit crazy with new outfits for her bears.

At the checkout we learned that the clothes would be 20% off if we purchased a new bear. Not my plan, but ok. Molly picked a "boy" bear and named him Adam.
As we were waiting in the couch area for Anneke to pick up her suit she began to admire her new outfits and dress her new bear.

"Look mommy, does this look nice?" she showed me the above bikini clad bear.
"That's a bikini. It looks pretty, but I thought you wanted Adam to be a boy bear?"
"He is a boy, mom, he's trans-gendered. He likes to wear girls clothes. Does he look pretty? Do you like it?"
"Looks great sweetie, can I take a picture?" Secretly tickeled by how gender-bending my youngest child has become.
"Sure, why?"
"I don't know, I just think its cute you have a transgendered bear."
"Ok" she shrugged, and proceeded to try on all her new outfits on Adam, likely "Build-a-bear"'s first transgendered bear.


  1. Your kids are completely awesome! But you know that already. =)

  2. that is awesome and that totally makes my day! :-D

  3. Hi

    You might be interested in this link. It is a call for submissions from significant others, family members, friends and allies of transgender/gender non-conforming/fluid individuals.

    C.T. Whitley

  4. I actually work at a build-a-bear in my area. And every time I see a child bending the gender rules I can't help but smile to my self to see that there is hope for a future.

  5. Thanks so much for your blog. It is great to see parents being so supportive and understanding. Will you be writing more?

  6. Cool post. I'm adding your blog to my blog roll.

  7. hey thanks for the great site, I try to keep a blog on my own journey as a gender fluid but don't have time to keep up with it much, your blog showed me hope, and that happy spirit I remember from so long ago (I'm forced to live in a rather unaccepting situation right now). A breath of fresh air.

  8. Just popping in here to say that you are the COOLEST parent ever. I'm a genderqueer middle schooler, chromosomally female but on the boyish side of things. And closeted to my parents. Which kind of sucks. Anneke is ridiculously lucky to have a mom like you <3

  9. I've seen this story elsewhere, evidently shared by another person who found it as remarkable as I do, and it was curiously removed from the context of a sibling of a gender variant child. I thought it was charming, but anecdotal at best, until I discovered it here. Molly and Anneke are awesome and I applaud you for your acceptance of both your kids. This blog sends a strong message that parents can and do support their trans* children.
    I've read through this whole blog and enjoyed it a lot, though I would like to hear more about Anneke's gender identity. I feel that the narration of day to day life makes for humanizing and interesting subject matter on its own, but if it's not too personal, perhaps you could further explain Anneke's gender fluidity and his/her "boy" and "girl" days. As a person questioning their gender, I always want to hear about how others experience their gender identity. I know Anneke might not be comfortable sharing this, though. Anyway, I look forward to hearing more about your inspiring family. I wish I could feel free to come out to my parents and discuss issues of gender identity.

  10. Absolutely delightful! Thanks for sharing this story.

  11. Ah, I love this blog, even if you don't update anymore. =) I wish you and your amazing family the best. <3